We always talk about the obvious signs of cheating…but what about the behaviors we may not notice or think twice about? In an article for YourTango.com, Patti Blue Hayes wants you to take a look at these 6 not-so-obvious signs he may be cheating:
1. Manscaping and Getting Buff
Staying in shape and personal hygiene are important. But when he starts spending hours the gym and shaving and trimming down more than he’s ever done in the past, that’s a big red flag. Is he more enamored with his own body than yours when you stand next to him in front of the bathroom mirror?
2. Excluded from Business Events
Business events with clients and other co-workers are normal functions. But have you just recently been excluded from the social gatherings, and then learn other spouses had attended? Look for changes in the norm!
3. Sudden Anger Outbursts
Hayes asks, “Is he showing anger and volatility that he never had before? That could be his guilt turned outward toward you. He may feel a sense of guilt for cheating but can’t man up to tell you the truth, so it’s his unconscious protection mechanism to keep him safe that has him blaming you for his outbursts.”
4. New Moves in the Bedroom
“Where’d you learn that? Those were my exact words after he did something a little different during sex,” says Hayes. Raise that red flag when he comes home with some new moves, unless of course the two of you have decided to explore some new techniques in the bedroom.
5. He Starts to Drink, Smoke, and Avoid You
This ties into the same concept as the anger outbursts. His guilt is coming out in other ways. Maybe he’s drinking excessively, smoking like a chimney, gambling, spending, or just plain old avoiding you.
According to Hayes, “Again, you’re keeping an eye out for a change in normal activity. His cheating is like a cancer cell–an abnormal change in behavior–and you’re looking for irregularities.”
Also, be sure to pay attention to his actions, not his words and empty promises.
6. His Phone Password is a Secret…Suddenly
If your husband never kept a password on his phone, or the two of you shared your passwords with one another, and that has suddenly changed (especially if he won’t share the new password with you), he’s hiding something. There’s never been a reason for it previously, so why is there a reason to keep his phone guarded now?
The safest and most effective way to uncover the truth is to employ the help of a licensed private investigator. If you are ready to take your suspicions and turn them into evidence, contact ICU Investigations today to seek help from the PROFESSIONALS!
Get answers today. Call 1-800-524-9755 for your free consultation.
According to an article posted on www.examiner.com, the weeks after Christmas are prime time to catch your significant other if you suspect he or she is being unfaithful. Here are 6 things to look for:
1. Disappearing Gifts
Some of us can’t help but snoop around for our gifts before Christmas. If you discovered a gift hidden before the holidays and Christmas has come and gone with no trace of it, raise the red flags. If it wasn’t for you, who was it for?
2. Receipts for 2 Identical Gifts
Did you find receipts for the purchase of 2 identical gifts, one of which you received? Where did the other gift go? According to www.examiner.com, “Cheating husbands often buy the exact same Christmas gift for their wife and their mistress to avoid detection.”
3. “Thank you” E-mails or Texts
If you find texts or e-mails from the opposite sex thanking your significant other for the gift, this should raise some serious concerns. This gift was obviously bought in secrecy. If it was innocent, why didn’t you know about it?
4. Inappropriately Personal Gifts
Don’t be alarmed by fairly neutral Christmas gifts, such as scarves, ties, perfume or cologne. DO take notice of jewelry, lingerie, articles of clothing, or other personal items from members of the opposite sex.
5. Expensive Gifts that Suddenly Appear after the Holidays
Did your spouse or significant other claim to have bought the item for himself/herself? Is there a receipt?
6. Credit Card Statements
Check the mailbox the weeks following Christmas. Credit card statements can reveal a wealth of information. Examiner says, “If you weren’t the one who charged an expensive watch from Sak’s Fifth Avenue or $300 worth of lingerie from Victoria’s Secret on your joint credit card., who did? And if you weren’t the person who received the gift in question, who was it given to?”
Suspicious? Get Answers from the PROFESSIONALS! Let us help you uncover the truth in the safest way possible. Call ICU Investigations at 800-527-9755 for your free consultation.
Statistics say that 70 percent of married women and 54 percent of married men did not know of their spouses’ extramarital activity. Maybe there was no physical evidence left behind…or so you thought.
The staff at ICU has fully licensed and certified computer forensic specialists that can uncover each piece of electronic evidence that your cheating spouse has tried to erase from computers.
Evidence can be found in:
- Hidden/deleted email
- Hidden files
- Web history
- Unallocated file space
There is a wealth of data left on cell phones daily. And just like computers, nothing is ever truly erased.
Evidence can be found in:
- Deleted text messages
- Web site history
- Deleted photos
- GPS location information
- Also, cell phones leave us a complete timeline of events that can be recovered.
Forensic investigations can be performed on almost any handheld device including iPhones and Android phonse (passwords can be recovered and/or bypassed).
Contact ICU Investigations for more information today! Suspicious? Get Answers!
Gail Saltz, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at New York–Presbyterian Hospital, and the author of Anatomy of a Secret Life: The Psychology of Living a Lie, contributed to Oprah.com with an article focusing on the hurtful effects of emotional infidelity.
Some think, “I haven’t had any physical contact with anyone else, so it’s not cheating.” Wrong. According to Saltz, “Emotional cheating (with an ‘office husband,’ a chat room lover, or a newly appealing ex) steers clear of physical intimacy, but it does involve secrecy, deception, and therefore betrayal. People enmeshed in nonsexual affairs preserve their ‘deniability,’ convincing themselves they don’t have to change anything. That’s where they’re wrong. If you think about it, it’s the breach of trust, more than the sex, that’s the most painful aspect of an affair and, I can tell you from my work as a psychiatrist, the most difficult to recover from.”
Maybe your spouse is feeling mundane in the relationship, bored, frustrated, isolated, etc. There comes a time when some people decide that “it is what it is” and steer clear of attempting to improve their marriage. This opens up the door to trouble, and according to Saltz, “while they aren’t consciously in the market, they are ripe for an affair of the heart: hungry for attention, craving excitement, and eager for someone to fill the emptiness they feel inside.”
Your spouse may rely on another person for the emotional satisfaction that is no longer provided to them. Saltz is finding that this type of infidelity is becoming alarmingly common. And with today’s technology and an abundance of ways to privately connect with other individuals, emotional affairs (with can and do turn into sexual ones) are taking a toll on marriages everywhere.
Let ICU help you uncover the truth.
Suspicious? Get answers TODAY!
Biological anthropologist, Helen Fisher, explains that love is one of three brain systems related to mating and reproduction. The other two brain systems however, explain why humans are capable of infidelity even though we place high value on love. Since we could never put this in laymen’s terms, here is Fisher’s explanation, posted by www.ideas.ted.com, of why cheating occurs, how common cheating is, and how it may relate to a gene.
1. “Pairbonding is a hallmark of humanity. Data from the Demographic Yearbooks of the United Nations on 97 societies between 1947 and 1992 indicate that approximately 93.1% of women and 91.8% of men marry by age 49. More recent data indicates that some 85% of Americans will eventually marry.”
2. “However, monogamy is only part of the human reproductive strategy. Infidelity is also widespread. Current studies of American couples indicate that 20 to 40% of heterosexual married men and 20 to 25% of heterosexual married women will also have an extramarital affair during their lifetime.”
3. “Brain architecture may contribute to infidelity. Human beings have three primary brain systems related to love. 1) The sex drive evolved to motivate individuals to seek copulation with a range of partners; 2) romantic love evolved to motivate individuals to focus their mating energy on specific partners, thereby conserving courtship time and metabolic energy; 3) partner attachment evolved to motivate mating individuals to remain together at least long enough to rear a single child through infancy together. These three basic neural systems interact with one another and other brain systems in myriad flexible, combinatorial patterns to provide the range of motivations, emotions and behaviors necessary to orchestrate our complex human reproductive strategy. But this brain architecture makes it biologically possible to express deep feelings of attachment for one partner, while one feels intense romantic love for another individual, while one feels the sex drive for even more extra-dyadic partners.”
4. “Infidelity has been a reality across cultures. It was also common among the classical Greeks and Romans, pre-industrial Europeans, historical Japanese, Chinese and Hindus and among the traditional Inuit of the arctic, Kuikuru of the jungles of Brazil, Kofyar of Nigeria, Turu of Tanzania and many other tribal societies.”
5. “There are different types of infidelity. Researchers have broadened the definition of infidelity to include sexual infidelity (sexual exchange with no romantic involvement), romantic infidelity (romantic exchanges with no sexual involvement) and sexual and romantic involvement.”
6. “Myriad psychological, cultural and economic variables play a role in the frequency and expression of infidelity. But one thing is clear: infidelity is a worldwide phenomenon that occurs with remarkable regularity, despite near universal disapproval of this behavior.”
7. “Mate poaching is a pronounced trend. In a recent survey of single American men and women, 60% of men and 53% of women admitted to “mate poaching,” trying to woo an individual away from a committed relationship to begin a relationship with them instead. Mate poaching is also common in 30 other cultures.”
8. “Infidelity doesn’t necessarily signal an unhappy relationship. Regardless of the correlation between relationship dissatisfaction and adultery, among individuals engaging in infidelity in one study, 56% of men and 34% of women rated their marriage as ‘happy’ or ‘very happy,’ suggesting that genetics may also play a role in philandering.”
9. “Studies show the possibility of a gene that correlates to infidelity. In 2008, Walum and colleagues investigated whether the various genes affect pair-bonding behavior in humans; 552 couples were examined; all had been married or co-habiting for at least five years. Men carrying the 334 vasopressin allele in a specific region of the vasopressin system scored significantly lower on the Partner Bonding Scale, indicating less feelings of attachment to their spouse. Moreover, their scores were dose dependent: those carrying two of these genes showed the lowest scores, followed by those carrying only one allele. Men carrying the 334 gene also experienced more marital crisis (including threat of divorce) during the past year, and men with two copies of this gene were approximately twice as likely to have had a marital crisis than those who had inherited either one or no copies of this allele. Last, the partners of men with one or two copies of this gene scored significantly lower on questionnaires measuring marital satisfaction. This study did not measure infidelity directly, but it did measure several factors likely to contribute to infidelity.”
10. “Several scientists have offered theories for the evolution of human adultery. I have proposed that during prehistory, philandering males disproportionately reproduced, selecting for the biological underpinnings of the roving eye in contemporary men. Unfaithful females reaped economic resources from their extra-dyadic partnerships, as well as additional males to help with parenting duties if their primary partner died or deserted them. Moreover, if an ancestral woman bore a child with this extra-marital partner, she also increased genetic variety in her descendants. Infidelity had unconscious biological payoffs for both males and females throughout prehistory, thus perpetuating the biological underpinnings and taste for infidelity in both sexes today.”