Dr. Debra Laino of ShaveMagazine highlights 10 common reasons that women cheat (#1 being the most common):
1. “Not having her needs met emotionally. This is the most common reason women give. This means, for whatever reason, feeling undervalued, unappreciated, disrespected and generally disconnected. Affection and communication are two of the biggest areas where men can leave women feeling unfulfilled emotionally.”
2. “Resentment. Anger and frustration that women may harbor towards their significant other can create feelings of isolation and loneliness. After a prolonged period, some of these women start to seek companionship elsewhere.”
3. “Because they can. Many women are disproportionately exposed to men than women in the workplace, as a direct consequence, many have more options and chances to cheat. Like many people, some women just do it because the opportunity struck. Right or wrong were never factored in. This is probably one of the worst reasons given, but true.”
4. “Because they are longing for better sex. Plenty of cheating women are so unsatisfied with their sexual relationship that they eventually seek fulfillment elsewhere.”
5. “Revenge. Plenty of cheating women see their actions as a form of justice against a partner who has wronged them in some way.”
6. “When there seems to be too much ‘baggage’ in the relationship. A woman will only take so much. Unfortunately in the beginning of a relationship a woman can take more because her hormones are surging. Once the honeymoon phase wears off the baggage better wear off as well, otherwise she may start looking at her options. Baggage can be Ex’s, out of control kids, overbearing family members, intrusive friends, etc.”
7. “Boredom. Bored women may seek an escape from the mundane. Cheating may be viewed as a way to add some excitement into her life. The thrill of doing something wrong or of potentially getting caught.”
8. “Feeling unattractive to her partner. If another guy comes along and starts telling her how beautiful she is and how special she is, she may start to feel better around him than she feels around her partner. This is especially dangerous because those feelings will cause her to develop an attachment to the other man.”
9. “Low self-esteem. In general sex is a drug; it makes us feel good. It also makes many of us feel desirable which gives us a false sense of self-esteem. Plenty of women will seek out sex, and lots of it, from many partners as a form of validation. This sense of worth and value is short lived and thus these women are caught continually seeking it out.”
10. “Some women cheat as sort of an exit strategy. She doesn’t want to break up with you verbally so behaviorally she goes out and cheats on you so you break up with her. It’s a coward’s way out but, in her eyes, it’s a way out nonetheless.”
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We’re not talking about your run-of-the-mill affair here. We’re talking about your spouse actually living a double life, with another home, live-in mistress (even kids!), bank accounts, cell phone numbers, email accounts, you name it. Everything he has with you, he also has with someone else (all except the marriage). If you’re suspicious that your spouse may be having an affair, but you feel it may be much deeper and more complex than you ever imagined, take into consideration these key behavior patterns:
1. Change in sexual appetite.
2. Hidden money or financial records.
3. Regular, nonchalant contact with an ex.
4. Hidden or inaccessible cell phones and/or e-mail accounts.
5. Frequent travel.
6. Exclusion from the usual “couples events.”
7. Deceptive body language.
8. Mysterious use of cash for “incidentals” or poorly explained expenses.
Now, these behaviors don’t necessarily mean that your spouse is truly living a double life. But the financials, multiple cell phones, and excessive travel are a little more involved than just an ordinary affair. There have been plenty of cases we approached with the suspicion that the other spouse was stepping out on the marriage, but uncovered and documented a whole secret world.
Don’t ever feel guilty for protecting yourself.
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800-524-9755 for your FREE consultation.
An article on drphil.com gives us the insights from the “other woman,” Sarah Symonds, a former mistress and author of Having an Affair? A Handbook for the Other Woman. She shared her experience with identifying the signs that you may be dating a married man:
- You met him in a bar. “If you are meeting for the first time in a bar, that doesn’t bode well. So many married men hang out in bars hoping to get lucky,” Sarah says.
- He has an clear indentation or tan line on his ring finger. When you first meet him, look for an obvious sign of a wedding ring that was just removed.
- He pays for your dates in all cash. You’ll never see him pull out a credit card; he doesn’t want a papertrail that could possibly be uncovered by his wife.
- He has multiple cell phones, but you’re only allowed to have the number to one of them. “One is for his wife, and one is for his secret life,” Sarah says. Furthermore, are all of his incoming phone calls taken away from you when you’re together?
- He calls you mostly while he’s running errands, like getting his car washed, running to the store, on his way to the gym, etc. “These are places where he’s escaped the family home to go out and call you, his secret lover,” she says.
- He doesn’t get back to your texts for hours and is not available to talk after work. He may even ask you not to call after certain times. “It’s because he’s at home with his family and can’t answer,” Sarah says.
- He’s never available on the weekends and has to schedule plans far in advance. He can’t be spontaneous when he has a family to juggle.
- You’ve never met his friends (and you probably never will).
- He never invites you back to his place or makes up excuses as to why he can’t. “My main message to women out there who might fall for these things is to find a reason to go back to his place. If he won’t take you home, there’s a reason why,” Sarah says.
Suspicious that you may be dating a married man? Get ANSWERS with ICU!
Tom Davis of www.patch.com released the top 100 New Jersey communities with the highest numbers of Ashley Madison users. Davis notes that according to data posted on Reddit, New Jersey is the third highest state (right after the District of Columbia, which technically is not a state) housing cheating husbands and wives, with over 300,000 users (Alabama was first, Colorado was second, and District of Columbia next).
Take a look at this shocking list below:
Number of Ashley Madison users by community:
1. Newark, 26,965
2. Jersey City, 15,823
3. Trenton, 15,504
4. Woodbridge, 13,925
5. Plainfield, 10,264
6. Toms River, 8,505
7. Wayne, 8,414
8. Clifton, 7,401
9. Somerset, 7,240
10. Elizabeth, 6,537
11. Cherry Hill, 6,289
12. Hoboken, 6,164
13. Ridgewood, 6,158
14. Union, 6,061
15. Camden, 5,934
16. Bloomfield, 5,494
17. Paterson, 5,398
18. Bridgewater, 4,929
19. Livingston, 4,874
20. Montclair, 4,779
21. Freehold, 4,542
22. New Brunswick, 3,937
23. Mount Laurel, 3,769
24. Linden, 3,698
25. Hackensack, 3,558
26. Marlton, 3,446
27. Bayone, 3,428
28. Parsippany, 3,410
29. Fort Lee, 3,372
30. Paramus, 3,325
31. Piscataway, 3,280
32. Atlantic City, 3,250
33. Williamstown, 3,164
34. East Brunswick, 2,981
35. North Bergen, 2,966
36. Irvington, 2,840
37. Sicklerville (section of Winslow Township), 2,752
38. Englishtown, 2,705
39. Verona, 2,679
40. Palmyra, 2,639
41. Red Bank, 2,608
42. Blackwood (section of Gloucester Township), 2,601
43. West Orange, 2,541
44. Clementon, 2,478
45. West New York, 2,470
46. Fairview, 2,442
47. Ridgefield, 2,432
48. Flemington, 2,395
49. Teaneck, 2,343
50. Little Falls, 2,320
51. North Brunswick, 2,258
52. Matawan, 2,177
53. Passaic, 2,177
54. Summit, 2,177
55. Kearney, 2,129
56. East Orange, 2,120
57. Millville, 2,077
58. Absecon, 2,073
59. Voorhees, 2,071
60. Asbury Park, 2,023
61. Ocean City, 2,017
62. Long Branch, 2,000
63. Philipsburg, 1,954
64. Bridgeton, 1,928
65. Nutley, 1,919
66. Pleasantville, 1,919
67. Hackettstown, 1,910
68. Belmar, 1,839
69. Fair Lawn, 1,821
70. Rutherford, 1,805
71. Mays Landing (section of Hamilton Township), 1,736
72. Rockaway, 1,729
73. Manahawkin (section of Stafford Township), 1,695
74. Garfield, 1,648
75. Lyndhurst, 1,602
76. Eatontown, 1,600
77. Rahway, 1,570
78. Secaucus, 1,506
79. Basking Ridge, 1,476
80. Point Pleasant Beach, 1,475
81. Hightstown, 1,473
82. South Plainfield, 1,415
83. Cranford, 1,295
84. Maple Shade, 1,294
85. Parlin (section of Old Bridge and Sayreville), 1,287
86. Scotch Plains, 1,269
87. Sayreville, 1,253
88. Barnegat, 1,233
89. Cliffside Park, 1,222
90. Denville, 1,218
91. Avenel (section of Woodbridge), 1,209
92. Hillside, 1,191
93. Hammonton, 1,176
94. Tuckerton, 1,169
95. Browns Mills, 1,149
96. Forked River (section of Lacey Township), 1,142
97. Bordentown, 1,123
98. Bergenfield, 1,118
99. Glassboro, 1,115
100. Plainsboro, 1,105
And that’s just the top 100 communities. The list goes on…
Morris Plains, 1,089
South Orange, 1,005
Short Hills, 963
Saddle Brook, 877
Monmouth Junction (section of South Brunswick), 845
Florham Park, 822
Glen Rock, 793
Saddle River, 763
East Hanover, 749
Colts Neck, 703
New Providence, 700
Long Valley, 684
Point Pleasant Boro, 640
Hasbrouck Heights, 573
Berkeley Heights, 561
Kendall Park (section of South Brunswick), 448
Englewood Cliffs, 441
Lanoka Harbor (section of Lacey), 411
Lincroft (section of Middletown), 310
Belford (section of Middletown), 291
Little Silver, 264
Port Monmouth (section of Middletown), 241
Leonardo (section of Middletown), 230
West Caldwell, 54
North Caldwell, 16
Normandy Beach (section of Brick), 14
Suspicious? Get Answers with ICU TODAY! 800-527-9755
If you haven’t figured this out yet, your iPhone (and everyone else’s iPhone) knows exactly where you’ve been, how much time you’ve spent at that location, and how many times you’ve visited that location. Oh! Also, your iPhone knows the place you call home and where you work. Ever wonder how your phone magically knows it would take you approximately 23 minutes to get home when you swipe down the Notification Center? This feature is called “Frequent Locations,” and it takes a few clicks to get there so you might have never even looked for it because you most likely had no clue it was there. Bad for cheaters, don’t you think?
To access Frequent Locations:
Go to Settings > Privacy > Location Services
Scroll past all of the apps listed to the very bottom…click on System Services.
Select Frequent Locations.
You’ll notice if the Frequent Locations setting is turned on by the the green setting seen below. If it’s green, then it’s been collecting location data.
(If you’d prefer it to be disabled, this would be where you turn it off.)
This is the scary part. The history of places you visit is dead-on accurate.
The first history page will start with the city and state.
Click into each city and it’ll bring you to each street name complete with map and how many visits were recorded within a certain time frame. Click on the street name to go even further and you’ll find the exact date and duration of time you spent at that specific location. Within the history, you’ll also find what the iPhone names your Home…and Work. It’s undeniably accurate. Take a look for yourself.
Upsides to this feature? You just found out how to track your teenager’s whereabouts.
Furthermore, we’ve had several calls and requests about the Frequent Locations feature and how to access it to look into suspicions of a cheating spouse.
Of course, the Frequent Locations tab can certainly be turned off…but it can’t be turned off if they don’t know it even exists.
Suspicious? Get Answers with ICU TODAY!