According to Elizabeth Bernstein of the Wall Street Journal, there are 6 risk categories that you could fall into to make you more capable of committing infidelity.
Note: Unfaithful individuals typically fall into more than one category.
Just being a male makes you more likely to cheat (even though the gender gap has gotten much smaller.
Dr. Kelly Campbell, psychologist and associate professor of psychology and human development at California State University, says that “testosterone is a risk factor.” It’s just more common in men because of their genetic make up.
Bernstein cites a recent study that worked with Ashley Madison to determine that people may be more likely to engage in infidelity in the year before a milestone birthday. For example, men that were 29, 39, 49, or 59 years of age were looking for extramarital affairs. This group was dubbed “9-enders.”
However, not only “9-enders” are at heightened risk of cheating on their significant others.
According to Dr. Campbell, “People in middle age are at lower risk because they have less time and spare energy. Between about age 35 and age 50, people tend to be focused on careers and child-rearing. You have a greater chance of cheating when you’re younger or older.”
The amount of opportunity, or the environment you put yourself in, could make you more likely to cheat. Are you around other attractive people that would make suitable, alternative partners, living in a city, work long hours and closely with others, and travel frequently? All of these factors could put you at risk for an affair.
Experts say that the popular phrase, “Once a cheater, always a cheater” is not always necessarily true. We must take into consideration the reasons why someone cheated in the first place. According to Dr. Campbell, “If the reasons for cheating are more about the individual than the relationship, the person is at risk for cheating again. If the relationship was more to blame, the risk of repeating isn’t as great.”
5. Relationship Dissatisfaction
If you are dissatisfied in your relationship, this is a major risk factor for cheating.
Bernstein says, “Infidelity and relationship dissatisfaction work both ways: You may cheat because you are unhappy in the relationship, but cheating will make you unhappier.”
Some good news, though! People who are satisfied in their marriage are unlikely to cheat!
We also must take into consideration sexual satisfaction when factoring relationship satisfaction. In a survey of 60,000 people, researchers asked them to rate how closely they agreed with this sentence: “I am satisfied with my relationship with my partner.” About 40% of those who strongly disagreed had engaged in infidelity, compared with just 10% of those who strongly agreed. Researchers got similar results when asking participants how strongly they agreed with this statement: “I am satisfied with my sexual life with my partner.”
Bernstein says, “Two of the so-called Big Five personality traits show consistent links to cheating, research shows.” Purdue’s Dr. Lehmiller says that people who score low on “agreeableness” (being kind and caring about other people’s feelings) and “conscientiousness” (being dependable and having self-discipline) are more likely to cheat.
Other traits linked to a greater infidelity risk include narcissism (having an overly inflated opinion of oneself), sensation-seeking (a tendency to look for thrilling and risky activities), and commitment-phobes.
Do you feel your significant other falls into these categories? Suspicious? Get answers TODAY!
Call 800-524-9755 for your free consultation.
We always talk about the obvious signs of cheating…but what about the behaviors we may not notice or think twice about? In an article for YourTango.com, Patti Blue Hayes wants you to take a look at these 6 not-so-obvious signs he may be cheating:
1. Manscaping and Getting Buff
Staying in shape and personal hygiene are important. But when he starts spending hours the gym and shaving and trimming down more than he’s ever done in the past, that’s a big red flag. Is he more enamored with his own body than yours when you stand next to him in front of the bathroom mirror?
2. Excluded from Business Events
Business events with clients and other co-workers are normal functions. But have you just recently been excluded from the social gatherings, and then learn other spouses had attended? Look for changes in the norm!
3. Sudden Anger Outbursts
Hayes asks, “Is he showing anger and volatility that he never had before? That could be his guilt turned outward toward you. He may feel a sense of guilt for cheating but can’t man up to tell you the truth, so it’s his unconscious protection mechanism to keep him safe that has him blaming you for his outbursts.”
4. New Moves in the Bedroom
“Where’d you learn that? Those were my exact words after he did something a little different during sex,” says Hayes. Raise that red flag when he comes home with some new moves, unless of course the two of you have decided to explore some new techniques in the bedroom.
5. He Starts to Drink, Smoke, and Avoid You
This ties into the same concept as the anger outbursts. His guilt is coming out in other ways. Maybe he’s drinking excessively, smoking like a chimney, gambling, spending, or just plain old avoiding you.
According to Hayes, “Again, you’re keeping an eye out for a change in normal activity. His cheating is like a cancer cell–an abnormal change in behavior–and you’re looking for irregularities.”
Also, be sure to pay attention to his actions, not his words and empty promises.
6. His Phone Password is a Secret…Suddenly
If your husband never kept a password on his phone, or the two of you shared your passwords with one another, and that has suddenly changed (especially if he won’t share the new password with you), he’s hiding something. There’s never been a reason for it previously, so why is there a reason to keep his phone guarded now?
The safest and most effective way to uncover the truth is to employ the help of a licensed private investigator. If you are ready to take your suspicions and turn them into evidence, contact ICU Investigations today to seek help from the PROFESSIONALS!
Get answers today. Call 1-800-524-9755 for your free consultation.
According to an article posted on www.examiner.com, the weeks after Christmas are prime time to catch your significant other if you suspect he or she is being unfaithful. Here are 6 things to look for:
1. Disappearing Gifts
Some of us can’t help but snoop around for our gifts before Christmas. If you discovered a gift hidden before the holidays and Christmas has come and gone with no trace of it, raise the red flags. If it wasn’t for you, who was it for?
2. Receipts for 2 Identical Gifts
Did you find receipts for the purchase of 2 identical gifts, one of which you received? Where did the other gift go? According to www.examiner.com, “Cheating husbands often buy the exact same Christmas gift for their wife and their mistress to avoid detection.”
3. “Thank you” E-mails or Texts
If you find texts or e-mails from the opposite sex thanking your significant other for the gift, this should raise some serious concerns. This gift was obviously bought in secrecy. If it was innocent, why didn’t you know about it?
4. Inappropriately Personal Gifts
Don’t be alarmed by fairly neutral Christmas gifts, such as scarves, ties, perfume or cologne. DO take notice of jewelry, lingerie, articles of clothing, or other personal items from members of the opposite sex.
5. Expensive Gifts that Suddenly Appear after the Holidays
Did your spouse or significant other claim to have bought the item for himself/herself? Is there a receipt?
6. Credit Card Statements
Check the mailbox the weeks following Christmas. Credit card statements can reveal a wealth of information. Examiner says, “If you weren’t the one who charged an expensive watch from Sak’s Fifth Avenue or $300 worth of lingerie from Victoria’s Secret on your joint credit card., who did? And if you weren’t the person who received the gift in question, who was it given to?”
Suspicious? Get Answers from the PROFESSIONALS! Let us help you uncover the truth in the safest way possible. Call ICU Investigations at 800-527-9755 for your free consultation.
Statistics say that 70 percent of married women and 54 percent of married men did not know of their spouses’ extramarital activity. Maybe there was no physical evidence left behind…or so you thought.
The staff at ICU has fully licensed and certified computer forensic specialists that can uncover each piece of electronic evidence that your cheating spouse has tried to erase from computers.
Evidence can be found in:
- Hidden/deleted email
- Hidden files
- Web history
- Unallocated file space
There is a wealth of data left on cell phones daily. And just like computers, nothing is ever truly erased.
Evidence can be found in:
- Deleted text messages
- Web site history
- Deleted photos
- GPS location information
- Also, cell phones leave us a complete timeline of events that can be recovered.
Forensic investigations can be performed on almost any handheld device including iPhones and Android phonse (passwords can be recovered and/or bypassed).
Contact ICU Investigations for more information today! Suspicious? Get Answers!
Gail Saltz, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at New York–Presbyterian Hospital, and the author of Anatomy of a Secret Life: The Psychology of Living a Lie, contributed to Oprah.com with an article focusing on the hurtful effects of emotional infidelity.
Some think, “I haven’t had any physical contact with anyone else, so it’s not cheating.” Wrong. According to Saltz, “Emotional cheating (with an ‘office husband,’ a chat room lover, or a newly appealing ex) steers clear of physical intimacy, but it does involve secrecy, deception, and therefore betrayal. People enmeshed in nonsexual affairs preserve their ‘deniability,’ convincing themselves they don’t have to change anything. That’s where they’re wrong. If you think about it, it’s the breach of trust, more than the sex, that’s the most painful aspect of an affair and, I can tell you from my work as a psychiatrist, the most difficult to recover from.”
Maybe your spouse is feeling mundane in the relationship, bored, frustrated, isolated, etc. There comes a time when some people decide that “it is what it is” and steer clear of attempting to improve their marriage. This opens up the door to trouble, and according to Saltz, “while they aren’t consciously in the market, they are ripe for an affair of the heart: hungry for attention, craving excitement, and eager for someone to fill the emptiness they feel inside.”
Your spouse may rely on another person for the emotional satisfaction that is no longer provided to them. Saltz is finding that this type of infidelity is becoming alarmingly common. And with today’s technology and an abundance of ways to privately connect with other individuals, emotional affairs (with can and do turn into sexual ones) are taking a toll on marriages everywhere.
Let ICU help you uncover the truth.
Suspicious? Get answers TODAY!