Marcelina Hardy of YourTango.com highlights 3 common mistakes that women make when they suspect their significant other is cheating. And with over 18 years of experience in infidelity investigations, ICU is here to back her up.
1. Reacting to Suspicions:
Suspecting that your significant other is cheating on you comes with a whirlwind of emotions; you’re angry, upset, sad, you feel betrayed and violated. All within minutes, you’re ready to lose your mind and let him have it…which is probably the worst possible thing you can do. Hardy writes, “Your man will naturally defend himself and tell you that you are crazy and in all seriousness, you probably do appear a bit crazed—cheating will do that to you! What this reaction will do is just turn the tables back on you making you look like the crazy, jealous, paranoid woman who thinks her man is up to no good. There’s no solid justification for what you are claiming.” That’s why you should stay away from…
2. Confronting with No Proof:
This is what we’re here for. People come to ICU Investigations because they are suspicious and they need answers. Don’t ever feel guilty for needing to know the truth and protecting yourself. We do the dirty work for you, so when you confront your man with concrete evidence of his cheating, there is no possible way he can deny it and make you feel like you’re crazy.
3. Confronting Your Man’s Side Piece:
Don’t take your anger out on the other woman. Hardy notes that “Many women who find out their man has been cheating will immediately take it out on the woman they have been seeing. Wrong! That woman has committed no wrong. Yes, she knew that your man was taken and that she shouldn’t have been with him, but your man made the decision to enter into a relationship with her knowing full well what he was doing and betraying your trust. The fault still remains with your partner.” It is then your choice with how to proceed with your life and begin healing. The ball is in your court.
Suspicious? Get Answers TODAY with ICU Investigations!
Well…let’s just get right down to it.
1. What percentage of men are unfaithful?
Studies suggest only 21% of men have ever been unfaithful to their spouse or significant other.
2. How often do women cheat?
Only 15% of women acknowledge an affair in a current or previous relationship. (Seems low, but that’s a 40% increase over the past 20 years).
3. What percentage of men would cheat if they knew they’d never get caught?
74% of men say they’d step out on their partners if they knew they’d be able to get away with it.
4. How about women?
68% of women say they’d step out on their partners if they knew they’d be able to get away with it.
5. How many men who cheat are happily married?
56% of husbands who admitted to cheating said that they were happy with their marriages overall.
6. What percentage of cheating wives say their marriage is happy?
34% of wives who admitted to cheating said that they were happy with their marriages overall.
7. How many people admit to cheating just once?
23% of men admitted that being unfaithful was a one-time thing. Only 17% of women who have cheated said the same.
8. How many say they’ve cheated 2 to 5 times?
In a poll of cheaters, 36% of women said it happened between 2 and 5 times compared to 33% of men.
9. What percentage of adults are serial cheaters?
47% of unfaithful women acknowledged at least 6 or more incidents. 44% of unfaithful men admitted to a consistent pattern of cheating, as well.
10. Does income influence cheating rates?
Women who are completely dependent on their husbands financially are 50% less likely to cheat, while men were least likely to stray when their wives earned 75% of their income or less.
11. Does a high IQ make you more likely to cheat?
The average IQ of men who’ve had an affair is 102.4 versus 100.5 for men who haven’t. For women, the difference is 104.6 versus 101.5 for cheaters and non-cheaters.
12. How many women say cheating is wrong?
84% of women agree that cheating is wrong if you’re married.
13. How many men share that sentiment?
Approximately 78% of men say that it’s not okay.
14. How often does infidelity result in divorce?
Even though the divorce rate in the U.S. hovers somewhere around 40 to 50%, only about 15% of marriages break up because of infidelity. Studies show that 50% of divorces are a result of “unreasonable behavior.”
15. How many people consider emotional affairs cheating?
Approximately 60% of adults classify an emotional relationship outside of the marriage as cheating. Only 18% said that it wasn’t the same thing as a physical affair.
16. How often do people cheat with a former sweetheart?
In one study, 32% of women say an encounter with an ex led to an affair. Only 21% of men say they’ve cheated with an ex.
17. How many people say they’d cheat as a form of revenge?
One study found that 14% of women would have a revenge affair while just 9% of men agreed.
18. At what point do most affairs begin?
If you’re recently married, the 2-year mark is when your relationship is most at risk for an affair.
19. How long does the average affair last?
The average affair usually lasts about 6 months.
20. How many people believe business trips lead to cheating?
In one survey, 66% of men and women said they worry about their significant other cheating while on business trips.
21. How many people actually cheat at work?
Research suggests that more than 60% of affairs begin at work.
22. How many affairs start online?
More than 10% of cheaters say they met the person they were cheating with online.
23. What’s the average cost of having an affair?
One survey found that cheaters spend an average of $444 a month to financing their extramarital affairs. However, only 32% of cheaters said their spouses had noticed the added expenditures.
Suspicious? Get Answers TODAY with ICU Investigations.
Call 800-524-9755 for your free consultation today!
According to Elizabeth Bernstein of the Wall Street Journal, there are 6 risk categories that you could fall into to make you more capable of committing infidelity.
Note: Unfaithful individuals typically fall into more than one category.
Just being a male makes you more likely to cheat (even though the gender gap has gotten much smaller.
Dr. Kelly Campbell, psychologist and associate professor of psychology and human development at California State University, says that “testosterone is a risk factor.” It’s just more common in men because of their genetic make up.
Bernstein cites a recent study that worked with Ashley Madison to determine that people may be more likely to engage in infidelity in the year before a milestone birthday. For example, men that were 29, 39, 49, or 59 years of age were looking for extramarital affairs. This group was dubbed “9-enders.”
However, not only “9-enders” are at heightened risk of cheating on their significant others.
According to Dr. Campbell, “People in middle age are at lower risk because they have less time and spare energy. Between about age 35 and age 50, people tend to be focused on careers and child-rearing. You have a greater chance of cheating when you’re younger or older.”
The amount of opportunity, or the environment you put yourself in, could make you more likely to cheat. Are you around other attractive people that would make suitable, alternative partners, living in a city, work long hours and closely with others, and travel frequently? All of these factors could put you at risk for an affair.
Experts say that the popular phrase, “Once a cheater, always a cheater” is not always necessarily true. We must take into consideration the reasons why someone cheated in the first place. According to Dr. Campbell, “If the reasons for cheating are more about the individual than the relationship, the person is at risk for cheating again. If the relationship was more to blame, the risk of repeating isn’t as great.”
5. Relationship Dissatisfaction
If you are dissatisfied in your relationship, this is a major risk factor for cheating.
Bernstein says, “Infidelity and relationship dissatisfaction work both ways: You may cheat because you are unhappy in the relationship, but cheating will make you unhappier.”
Some good news, though! People who are satisfied in their marriage are unlikely to cheat!
We also must take into consideration sexual satisfaction when factoring relationship satisfaction. In a survey of 60,000 people, researchers asked them to rate how closely they agreed with this sentence: “I am satisfied with my relationship with my partner.” About 40% of those who strongly disagreed had engaged in infidelity, compared with just 10% of those who strongly agreed. Researchers got similar results when asking participants how strongly they agreed with this statement: “I am satisfied with my sexual life with my partner.”
Bernstein says, “Two of the so-called Big Five personality traits show consistent links to cheating, research shows.” Purdue’s Dr. Lehmiller says that people who score low on “agreeableness” (being kind and caring about other people’s feelings) and “conscientiousness” (being dependable and having self-discipline) are more likely to cheat.
Other traits linked to a greater infidelity risk include narcissism (having an overly inflated opinion of oneself), sensation-seeking (a tendency to look for thrilling and risky activities), and commitment-phobes.
Do you feel your significant other falls into these categories? Suspicious? Get answers TODAY!
Call 800-524-9755 for your free consultation.
We always talk about the obvious signs of cheating…but what about the behaviors we may not notice or think twice about? In an article for YourTango.com, Patti Blue Hayes wants you to take a look at these 6 not-so-obvious signs he may be cheating:
1. Manscaping and Getting Buff
Staying in shape and personal hygiene are important. But when he starts spending hours the gym and shaving and trimming down more than he’s ever done in the past, that’s a big red flag. Is he more enamored with his own body than yours when you stand next to him in front of the bathroom mirror?
2. Excluded from Business Events
Business events with clients and other co-workers are normal functions. But have you just recently been excluded from the social gatherings, and then learn other spouses had attended? Look for changes in the norm!
3. Sudden Anger Outbursts
Hayes asks, “Is he showing anger and volatility that he never had before? That could be his guilt turned outward toward you. He may feel a sense of guilt for cheating but can’t man up to tell you the truth, so it’s his unconscious protection mechanism to keep him safe that has him blaming you for his outbursts.”
4. New Moves in the Bedroom
“Where’d you learn that? Those were my exact words after he did something a little different during sex,” says Hayes. Raise that red flag when he comes home with some new moves, unless of course the two of you have decided to explore some new techniques in the bedroom.
5. He Starts to Drink, Smoke, and Avoid You
This ties into the same concept as the anger outbursts. His guilt is coming out in other ways. Maybe he’s drinking excessively, smoking like a chimney, gambling, spending, or just plain old avoiding you.
According to Hayes, “Again, you’re keeping an eye out for a change in normal activity. His cheating is like a cancer cell–an abnormal change in behavior–and you’re looking for irregularities.”
Also, be sure to pay attention to his actions, not his words and empty promises.
6. His Phone Password is a Secret…Suddenly
If your husband never kept a password on his phone, or the two of you shared your passwords with one another, and that has suddenly changed (especially if he won’t share the new password with you), he’s hiding something. There’s never been a reason for it previously, so why is there a reason to keep his phone guarded now?
The safest and most effective way to uncover the truth is to employ the help of a licensed private investigator. If you are ready to take your suspicions and turn them into evidence, contact ICU Investigations today to seek help from the PROFESSIONALS!
Get answers today. Call 1-800-524-9755 for your free consultation.
According to an article posted on www.examiner.com, the weeks after Christmas are prime time to catch your significant other if you suspect he or she is being unfaithful. Here are 6 things to look for:
1. Disappearing Gifts
Some of us can’t help but snoop around for our gifts before Christmas. If you discovered a gift hidden before the holidays and Christmas has come and gone with no trace of it, raise the red flags. If it wasn’t for you, who was it for?
2. Receipts for 2 Identical Gifts
Did you find receipts for the purchase of 2 identical gifts, one of which you received? Where did the other gift go? According to www.examiner.com, “Cheating husbands often buy the exact same Christmas gift for their wife and their mistress to avoid detection.”
3. “Thank you” E-mails or Texts
If you find texts or e-mails from the opposite sex thanking your significant other for the gift, this should raise some serious concerns. This gift was obviously bought in secrecy. If it was innocent, why didn’t you know about it?
4. Inappropriately Personal Gifts
Don’t be alarmed by fairly neutral Christmas gifts, such as scarves, ties, perfume or cologne. DO take notice of jewelry, lingerie, articles of clothing, or other personal items from members of the opposite sex.
5. Expensive Gifts that Suddenly Appear after the Holidays
Did your spouse or significant other claim to have bought the item for himself/herself? Is there a receipt?
6. Credit Card Statements
Check the mailbox the weeks following Christmas. Credit card statements can reveal a wealth of information. Examiner says, “If you weren’t the one who charged an expensive watch from Sak’s Fifth Avenue or $300 worth of lingerie from Victoria’s Secret on your joint credit card., who did? And if you weren’t the person who received the gift in question, who was it given to?”
Suspicious? Get Answers from the PROFESSIONALS! Let us help you uncover the truth in the safest way possible. Call ICU Investigations at 800-527-9755 for your free consultation.